Sexual Identity

As a heterosexual man, my experience with sexuality is obviously going to be different from someone with homosexual tendencies just as taste in food may be different from person to person. Common features, traits, and shared genes make us all human while different personalities, and identities make us distinct.

There is no such thing as sexual identity besides male or female. We’ve created the term to establish false distinctions and other categories that allow perversity to disguise itself as individualism. “This is who I am,” says the gay man. “This is how I was born.,” says the gay woman. “This is how God (or the Universe) made me,” says the duet. Those are lies.

As a human being, I recall a time roughly around when I had begun to form and store conscious memories. I must have been two or three years old. My concept of time was quite rudimentary, so I cannot specifically recall dates. Nevertheless, the things that I had learned to recognize and describe were being filed and classified in my mind. Sex in any context was not one of those things.

You see babies don’t lust. Neither are they confused about their “gender identities.” They simply think of milk, mommy, daddy, sleep, and the simple things that make them laugh or cry. They don’t understand bills and that it’s lights out if they’re past due. They don’t understand societal norms. But they soon learn that mommy (if she’s lactating) has breasts full of delectable milk; and thankfully so.

Thankfully mommy doesn’t think she is a Canadiam goose trapped inside a woman’s body; and thankfully daddy doesn’t think he’s a six year old girl because if any one of them were confused about this, I would not be enjoying this delicious milk!

Sexuality is an aspect of our physical, corporeal identities, but our sexuality is not our identity. There’s more to me, for example, than the fact that I’m a man and a heterosexual one at that. I need no parades to “advertize” what happens behind closed doors with my wife. What happens between two sexually mature adults should never be put on display. There should be no porn. I know this statement is corny to some, but that’s what sexual morality looks like.

As a personal testimony, I’ve had my moments of sexual immorality, and after experiencing how much better God’s way is, I wish I had always done things his way. There is so much wisdom in his design. In the past, things were different for me. It was easier to live in moment. It seemed right to indulge, but the indulgence always came with a price, like damaged relationships, drama, trauma, and soul ties.

“Life is short.” “You only live once.” These are things the world said to encourage me to live in the flesh. Yet, I cannot and will not excuse even my heterosexual trespasses or blame them on my genes. I began to feel strong sexual urges in junior high school and associated them with something I had put a face to such as the girl I sat next to in class.

Now, as a married man, father, and follower of Christ, I need not display to others acts of intimacy I might indulge in with my wife. Heterosexual couples don’t have to force an acceptance of our lifestyles. Though it still is the natural attraction and even though sex between fertile males and females carries obvious blessings (from God), nobody needs to parade their sexuality. Let’s stop the current trend and help the next generation keep their innocence a bit longer. Let’s also put an end to the confusion.

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